[The terrible thing about being violently ill is that it's hard to remember what exactly happened other than puking and feeling like shit. It isn't until a chance encounter with Eren sometime early Day 29 that Connie remembers hey, he hasn't done his fucking homework yet and he goes bolting to his rover with a look of absolute panic on his face in order to curl up in his bunk and scan through the recruit files as fast as humanly possible.

In order to get things done as quick as possible and to save poor Warriorhead's voiceover tech from shitty typos, Connie opts for an audio transmission.]

--wasn't doing this last minute--oh shit it's on--

Uh, this is Connie Springer, turning in my Orange team homework, sir. I've researched [read: pulled random files willy nilly] the Orange team recruits and come up with the following people:

Mogget, because, well, he's a cat. What can cats even do here? Don't some people eat cats? Then there's July and Dick Grayson because they're both really young and you can't be that strong when you're little. Uh, Catherine Halsey because she's old and Kaname Chidori because she's....human?

[Yeah, that's the best reason he's got. To be fair, there's like a million overpowered aliens here. There's a slight pause before the last name, and his voice is quieter when he says it.]

And I guess there's me too, because I'm also kind of little and not very strong and everyone thinks I'm stupid so I'm not even mentally strong or anything either.

[Anywaaaay let's not linger on that so moving on!]

As for the strongest....for Red, it's gotta be Loki and that guy with the mask that he never takes off. [He means Kakashi.] 'Cause Loki can shoot lightning from his fingers and he defeated a bunch of those fishtitans when we first got here, and then Maskguy is a ninja and they're professional killers and can do anything.

[Or so says Ino. Too bad she was 200% sarcastic when she said all of it.]

For Green team, Temeraire because he's a dragon and Sephiroth because his file says he can do all sorts of things like fly and use magic. [Also he seems extremely creepy but that's beside the point. Finally:] And for Blue, Optimus Prime because he's huge and made of metal [seriously, how the hell do you defeat something like that] and Commander Smith, because if he can help lead humanity in a war against the titans he can do anything.

[A pause. Now that he's done with his homework, he's not sure what to say.]

Soooo what happens to the six weakest people? Do we get extra training? Because that'd be helpful if we were the weakest.

[Or something like that, at least. He sounds a little unsure though - he's been filled in re: the Red team fiasco and would really like to not die or be subjected to death-like scenarios. BUT ANYWAY.]

That's it though, right? For the homework? Uh, okay, I guess I'm done.

[There's another awkward pause before he turns the recording function off.]